Video: Negotiate Acoustic Performance by Solid Star

Solid Star went down once again in an outstanding live freestyle performance with his melodious voice singing “Negotiate“ on Cool FM with Mannie and Tony Da Guitarist who also showed superb prowess in handling an acoustic set. Watch the video after the cut...

Pres. Jonathan visits site of collapsed Synagogue church building

President Jonathan earlier today visited the site of the collapsed building at T.B Joshua's Synagogue church. He is currently in Lagos to attend a PDP rally which will hold later today at TBS. 

The traffic in Lagos today is very bad because of this rally eh...

Is sex really the relationship??? Question For You

True love always wants to wait, so true love does not mind waiting until 

marriage. It is sad that the present society we are now has aversion for 

right things but the truth of the matter is that virginity is still one of the 

most precious things you have to give to your spouse, either as a male or 

female. Once you lose it, nothing in the world can bring it back. Many still 

don’t agree with me because they are of the opinion it doesn’t matter since

 they would soon get married. But we all know that the only thing that 

cannot change in life is change itself. So, the possibility always exists that 

you may for some reason or reasons decide against marrying the particular person you have been sexually bonded with. When this happens, you have, 

through sexual involvement, given a part of yourself to someone other 

than your spouse for life.

The fact still remains that if one succumbs to moral enticement before marriage, nothing may 

likely stop such fellow from giving in to moral enticement once married. If couples cannot control

 themselves before marriage, how will they be able to do so when married? The more 

promiscuous an individual is before marriage, the more likely such individual will be even when he or

 she is in a promising marital relationship. There have been cases of dating partners who are

 very okay sexually, but find it hard to find lasting love.

Of course, in sex saturated culture like ours, waiting till marriage seems out-dated. Contrary to popular

 opinion, those who choose to save sex for marriage are not doomed to a second-class sex life.

 Rather, research has shown that such people typically report higher levels of sexual satisfaction 

and marital contentment. Early sexual experience has been linked to marital dissatisfaction, 

low self-esteem and greater incidence of divorce. When pre marital sex becomes the reason for

 the marriage regardless of other important things, the marriage may lose taste. A typical marriage

 worth looking forward to entails good communication, friendship, playfulness, understanding and

 lots of sexual escapades.

We cannot rule out the fact that there will be zero or low risk of sexually transmitted diseases in a 

pre- marital relationship; even when you are married to a sexually inexperienced individual, the one 

beautiful joy of such union is that such spouse can learn and get better with experience in time,

 since both of you have a life time of learning together. And learning sexual skill together as married 

partners is not only entertaining, amusing and fun but the fact that both of you will discover 

new things together, grow together develop healthy and bonding wholesome sexual intimacy 

together is very thrilling and fascinating.

In addition, there will be no risk of unwanted pregnancy. Yes there are smart ways of preventing 

pregnancy. There is also high rate of family planning failure. From researchers, it has been 

discovered that premarital sex leads to emotional distress, distrust, regret and emptiness; even 

though people involved try to put up a bold face and pretend nothing happens, yet the emptiness 

is obvious. That’s because sex connects two people in body and spirit; it’s impossible to separate 

the two. Premarital sex always comes with consequences one way or the other.

This is a highly controversial view with different excuses. Yet, there is always a place for smooth running.

 You do not need to stay ‘well-informed’ with practical vaginal sex before you know how to do it better. 

There are lots of sexual information without practical that will still give you best information.

A researcher confirmed that the more people you have sex with does not make you better informed.

 He said that if you roll in the sack with five partners or 10 or 50, it will still not be enough. He further 

went on to say that, ‘how many of us really want our spouses should be that well informed, after 

rolling in the sack with countless of others?

I will coach Eagles for just N3m says Pius Ayinor

Pius Ayinor

Once on this page I threw myself in for the Super Eagles job at a time when there was vacancy 

for the position. The current situation has again touched on my sense of patriotism that I am 

offering myself yet for the position. And mind you, I am doing so at the most reasoning cost with the 

assurance of good result. I am not asking for tax-free N10m; not even N5m with very good bonus 

but simply N3m which under the circumstance is most reasonable.

Without doing any research I am sure that Nigerians will not be so disappointed and angry with me 

even if I lose 3-1 to Congo in Uyo after all it is cheaper than losing 3-2 in Calabar or picking double 

that amount and then calling on any god for a last second equaliser against Harambee Stars of 

Kenya at the same venue.

And I do hope that the all the members of the Nigeria Football Federation would consider 

my application whichever group finally gets the FIFA stamp.

As the coach of the Eagles I will only bring players that are truly the best around. Gone will be the

 days where players who cannot tie down a shirt in an Italian Serie B side or with a council team in

 Scotland will make the team. I will not try to justify my inclusion of players who have not played 

more than 85 minutes for their clubs in a whole season in my World Cup squad when there are players 

in English and Spanish leagues playing regularly and scoring goals.

From the domestic league, the best players will be in my team rather than just a few mixed with

 others that I will continue to defend their inclusion. I will not threaten my employers with resignation

 all the time neither will I claim that 10 countries are begging to sign me as their coach and nobody

 has ever heard from those FAs except me.

And what am I saying here? I have listened to Nigerians say it is not too much to pay a Nigerian

 N10m or even N15 to coach the Eagles and they have always compared what is paid to national

 team coaches in Nigeria to what is obtainable in European countries. Having listened to many 

and read the messages some others have sent to me, I now understand that not everyone 

understands how salaries are arrived at for managers in European clubs and national teams.

 From what I know it is usually the manager that pays his staff from his package. And that 

was the kind of arrangement Clemens Westerhof used while in Nigeria when he brought in 

Jo Bonfrere and later a goalkeeper trainer. In Nigeria those who don’t understand want the 

NFF to pay a coach N10m per month and then also separately pay his assistants and they are

 putting up every emotional argument to justify it. Many times you hear that since officials

 embezzle funds then the coach is free to earn whatever he desires.

Have we ever bothered to ask if it is worth the trouble? What value has the person added to team or

 will add to warrant such payment? Have we bothered to ask the role the NFF plays for the 

Eagles to win matches and competitions and then consider if we can still dole out even N5m

 to any coach in Nigeria.

I have mentioned adding value here and what I mean is a coach really turning the football system around.

 It is easy to pick out Westerhof because he was able to do that with the Eagles. Turning around a

 team is not about winning a trophy but adding class, quality and pattern such that even if they lose a

 match they can still be well applauded for a good display. You may argue that Westerhof spent more 

than four years working with the team but I can tell you that as early as Algeria ’90 the Eagles had 

picked up confidence. They didn’t win Senegal ’92 as well but at that stage the Eagles had become a 

good team such that by early 1993 Nigerians were sure that USA’94 was going to be our first 

World Cup outing and more so that we would not struggle over there. Westerhof could have 

hid behind the excuse that it was Nigeria’s first World Cup and get beaten easily but it was a 

different story. It is unfortunate that in Brazil we found a million excuses as to why we had to 

struggle against every team and the NFF crisis became a very ready excuse to lose to Congo.

 The struggling and permutations are on the table once again as we battle for a place in Morocco 2015.

‘Super Eagles need better coach’

Super Eagles players

Former Super Eagles striker Jonathan Akpoborie has insisted that coach Stephen Keshi’s success 

with the Super Eagles at the Africa Cup of Nations in 2013 and the team’s performance at the 

2014 World Cup are not enough reasons to retain him as Nigeria coach.

Akpoborie’s argument stemmed from Nigeria’s results in their last ten matches in which they have

 won just one, against Bosnia-Herzegovina, and lost four, including a 2015 AFCON qualifier 

against Congo in Calabar.

The former Wolfburg forward blamed the Nigeria Football Federation for not being proactive and 

taking decisions based on sentiments.

“The decision to retain Keshi as coach was based on sentiment. When you make vital decisions 

on sentiment, you lose. Keshi may have led Nigeria to win the AFCON but a coach is as good as his last game. 

Keshi’s last games were nothing to be proud of,” Akpoborie told our correspondent on the

 telephone on Wednesday.

“There were coaches who won the UEFA Champions League or were impressive at the World Cup 

that were fired after their teams’ poor performances at later competitions.

“I’m not saying we should get rid of Keshi right away, because we don’t have an immediate replacement, 

but the NFF should have put their acts together in moving the team forward.”

Akpoborie said the team had failed to improve on their standard since Keshi took over in 2011. 

He observed that the team had been poor in the aspect of team work and coordination in recent matches.

“In team work, the Eagles have nothing to show and have lost too easily. If we continue to lose games

 like that, we have the tendency of not qualifying for the 2015 Nations Cup,” he said.

“I believe we have to wait and see if Keshi can qualify the team for the Nations Cup before we do 

anything at all. If they are going to give him any contract, the NFF must include a clause that he must 

qualify for the Nations Cup.

“Before Nigeria crashed at the World Cup, before the defeat to France, there were rumours that Keshi 

was on the verge of joining South Africa or some other African countries, but those offers are no longer there and 

that is why he settled for Nigeria. If he had a serious offer, he would not waste any time in dumping Nigeria

 because they would pay him better.

“The crisis in the NFF and the issue surrounding the Eagles has nothing to do with patriotism. 

The only patriotic party in the whole issue are the millions of Nigerians cheering the team no matter what happens. 

These Nigerians have been lied to by administrators every day; they tell them things they want to hear, 

not what is happening.

“It is important for the NFF to put its house in order so that it can come up with a better contract with Keshi.”

Akpoborie could not easily identify the major problems causing the Super Eagles’ poor performance, 

but he concluded that Keshi had not been professional in addressing them.

“It is difficult to pin the Super Eagles’ problem on the coach’s tactics or his selection; there are 

other seemingly minor issues that could have contributed to the team’s inability to perform to expectation.

 We can say the team was affected by the instability in the NFF, or we can put the blame on 

the supposed pressure from the NFF,” he said.

“But whatever it is, the coach is a professional who has played both in Europe and in Africa and 

has managed three national teams, so he should know how to handle any such problems.

“While he is demanding big contracts from the NFF, the team has failed to improve on their standard 

right from when he took over. I’ve not seen any improvement in the team.

“The selection of players is controlled by sentiment which should not be so. The coach should be able 

to control himself when sentiment beclouds his judgement during selection. Any player who is a 

Nigerian and have the quality to be in the team should be invited to play.

“The best players should play for Nigeria but I’m not convinced that the players in the Eagles are

 the best we have.”

Despite the poor start to their campaign in the race to the 2015 AFCON, Akpoborie believes the Super 

Eagles still have the chance to qualify.

He said, “Everything is possible. We are still a big name in African football and this should count for 

something; we’re the team to beat. The whole world will laugh if we don’t qualify; the pressure is high.

“I expect the NFF to quickly have a contract for Keshi and include a clause that Nigeria must qualify 

for the 2015 Nations Cup. It is too late at this stage to begin searching for a new coach unless we 

want to forget about Morocco 2015 and start planning for the 2017 edition.”

Revealed: Women above 40 enjoy more satisfying sex

As couples approach the middle years, it is believed that their bodies, psychology, hormones, 

lifestyles and sexual responses change. This change, many opine could be gradual or subtle but 

could reduce or increase sex life.

However, a new study says none of these changes interferes with a full sex life of women. 

The study claims that women grow increasingly satisfied with their sex lives after they turn 40.

The study states that sex has simply become an act or another activity of fun like a game of basketball 

for women in such older age or 40 above, knowing that they may not be able to get pregnant again when 

above 

menopause age.

This, according to the study, removes the ruinous risk or life-changing blessing – procreation – 

that has accompanied sex since puberty.

Besides, it explains that as partners become older, more experienced and more trusting of each other,

 they may become less inhibited in their views of what constitutes satisfying sex.

“For women in such older age, sex may no longer be a risk-taking adventure because it becomes 

something that they do ‘now or never,’ hence, it seems only natural to try out new acts, positions and partners,

 if there is any reason to, and such couples are often forced to find new ways to give each other pleasure,

” it states further.In the research, carried out by Prof. Elizabeth Barrett-Connor, who is the chief of

 epidemiology 

division in the Department of Family and Preventative Medicine, University of California, San Diego,

 United States,

 a group of women aged between 40 and 100 with a median age of 67, were surveyed.

In the study, published in the American Journal of Medicine, half of the respondents said they

 were sexually active, and most of the women said they were able to become aroused, maintain

 lubrication and 

achieve orgasm during sex, even after the age of 80.

Furthermore, among the sexually active women, those who were below age 55 or above 80 were 

found to report satisfaction with their ability to achieve orgasms.

“I was surprised by how many people were completely satisfied over the age of 80,” said Barrett-Connor.

More than any other group, men and women in their 40s considered themselves emotionally

 and physically satisfied by their lovemaking, and not because they lasted longer in bed or have 

more energy to go for more rounds, the study revealed.

However, it is noteworthy that in spite of the fact that sexual activity drops off in older women, 

it remains a significant part of the lives of many of them.

Still in the course of the study, the researchers mailed a questionnaire that asked very personal 

questions to 1,303 well-educated group of upper-middle class women, who live a healthy lifestyle, 

in a suburban California community, out of which 806 responded to the questions about sex.

Worthy of note is the fact that almost half of the women over age 80 said they were always or 

almost always sexually satisfied.

It is understandable that most women who have grown up to their ’40s and above invested 

some years in romantic myths, involving love, marriage and sex, thus, some of such women who are 

now on their own, whether through widowhood, divorce or never having married, may occasionally

 get lonely, look forward to a good time as often as they look forward to a long-term relationship. 

Hence, for such women, a good sex may be worth looking up to, more so that there is no more monthly 

cycle that could hamper their enjoyment.

Ever wondered why some older women ‘recruit’ young men, old enough to be their grandchildren, 

for such ‘work’, this probably explain why.

According to Laura Berman, relationship therapist and sex educator, “Getting older can 

sometimes cause changes in our bodies and our sexual response, or complicate our ability to enjoy sex,

 but the good news is that these changes do not need to impede the sex life.

The best way to deal with change is simply to talk about it and to adjust, which is the most important

 sex secret of all.

“Normal aging brings physical changes in both men and women and these changes sometimes 

affect one’s ability to have and enjoy sex but some women enjoy it more as they grow older and after 

menopause or a hysterectomy (surgical operation to remove the womb), they may no longer fear 

an unwanted pregnancy, hence, feel freer to enjoy sex.

A research letter in JAMA Internal Medicine reports that women between the ages of 40 and 65 

who place greater importance on sex are more likely to stay sexually active as they age. In other words, 

if it is important to you, you would keep on doing it.

Dr. Jan Leslie Shifren, an associate professor of obstetrics, gynaecology, and reproductive biology

 at Harvard Medical School said many sexual problems can be reversed with appropriate therapy,

 especially if they are new and that the treatments are often successful.

“Some therapies are simple, such as using a lubricant or low-dose vaginal oestrogen for dryness and pain.

“Sex is important to women’s health. It revs up metabolism and may boost the immune system. 

Frequent sexual intercourse is associated with reduced heart attack risk. It can help the vagina s

tay lubricated, elastic, and healthy. And it is fun,” Shifren advised

How to Take Back An Ex by Glory Edozien

It started with a kiss.Well,not really. It actually started when I met up with Temi and her new beau Seyi at Spice Bar after work. Seyi invited his friend Tayo, who had just moved from the UK, to join us. Seeing as there are probably a million and one UK returnees named Tayo, it never crossed my mind that it could be my ex, Tayo. Nothing could have prepared me for his arrival as he drew back a seat beside me and the scent of his familiar Tom Ford perfume settled into the chair with him. Temi sensing the tension decided it was best to make a joke of it all. I joined in, hoping my laughter veiled my discomfort.

As the evening progressed, I was surprised at how pleasant the evening actually was. After Temi and Seyi left, Tayo and I spent an additional 2 hours in the restaurant. The evening reminded me exactly why I had dated him for over 18 months. At one point I had tears coming down my eyes just from the hilarity of some of his stories. He had a knack for looking straight at you, like he could see something the world didn’t notice. I remembered how we could talk for hours about nothing in particular but still feel a sense of shared understanding and bonding. Even now, nothing had changed, he still placed his hand on my arm, shoulder and hair like he had been doing it all his life or somehow managed to reduce the distance between us anytime he laughed.

As the evening ended, conversation turned more earnest as we remembered all the things we said we would achieve in our 20’s, our unhindered ambitions and immature perceptions of reality. He told me he was proud of me for sticking to my dreams. I told him I admired his determination to build a company when he could have easily joined the family business. We looked at each other then and realized just how much we knew about the person behind the make up, clothes and ego. And that was when it happened. I saw it coming and even though the room was filled with people I didn’t try to stop him. His lips felt a little cold but familiar. Nothing had changed.

For the next two weeks, we chatted everyday. We went to the cinema, to dinners and even attended a wedding together. It was only when he introduced me to his aunty as his girlfriend that I realized we were actually dating. My lips tightened but I managed to straighten them into a smile as I dropped one knee to greet his aunty – who promptly informed me that my wedding would be next.

The next day we went to church together and met with Temi and Seyi for brunch. Seyi made a comment about him being our best man and Tayo said something about new beginnings and sometimes needing to see the world only to realise there was nothing better than what you had in the first place. I pressed my lips together and let my eyes stay longer than necessary on Temi’s half eaten chicken.

Time is a funny thing. It has a way soaking up the pain and stain of scars, leaving only a faint recollection of the cause of injury. Maybe that was why I had been playing Ken and Barbie for two weeks without realising. After all it was the same lips that touched mine two weeks ago that had caused the end of our relationship years ago. It was those lips that told me he was hanging with friends when he really was hanging with Wunmi the 1st year Economics undergraduate. Those same lips I saw kissing Wunmi at the African and Caribbean society party and those exact lips that told me without stuttering that his parents weren’t pleased he was dating an Igbo girl. So, why would I now believe anything that came out of those lips. Because 5 years had passed and we were now different? Or because fate had decided to test my resolve by placing me on the same table with an ex who made me question my self worth? Or because now he was interested in starting a new beginning after he had sampled all the world had to offer. Or perhaps my brain had become an etch a sketch rubbing off all memories of how he flaunted Wunmi in my face barley 2 days after our break up.

Don’t get me wrong. I know people can change. People make mistakes and should be given second chances. After all many couples have said I do after years of break ups to make ups. Except that is my problem. My goal isn’t just to ‘say I do’. I don’t want to throw my bouquet dancing to “Single Ladies” because I have finally been catapulted to Mrs status. I want to have my first dance with reasonable certainty that my husband will always hold me close no matter what kind of music life throws at us. I want to feel secure, as I kneel down in my wedding dress to feed my husband, knowing that his respect, love and support for me will remain steady through our years together. And to have that I must trust whoever I give my life to in marriage. I must trust that he can take care of me emotionally and spiritually and even when we fight he will remember that I bleed just as easily as he does.

I discussed this with Temi and she remained adamant that Tayo was a transformed man. She explained that the mistakes of the past were due to youth and now he was a fully fledged man ready to commit to a long term relationship. Temi was half right. People do change, but only if the underlying reason for their behaviour has been dealt with. Anything else is a mirage which will fade under intense pressure. Tayo’s parents are still alive and I will always be Igbo. He still speaks in hushed tones and picks unnecessary fights only to send flowers to my office after disappearing for a weekend. I, on the other hand, realised after our break up that compromise is different from self deprecation. The line is between acceptance of my partners flaws and my appreciation of self is a dark blue and not a faded grey. So after 6 weeks of playing make-up, Tayo and I said goodbye a second time but not because he hadn’t changed, but because I had.